| Your Eating Disorder Voice is communicating | | | | rollercoaster for years, this can be pretty intense. |
| something. Your Healthy Voice is communicating | | | | Therefore, your Healthy Voice is the part of you that is |
| something. Often, these "Voices" are competing with | | | | binging, because it knows that dieting doesn't work and |
| each other, but what are they really trying to say? | | | | wants you to stop. |
| I often talk to clients about the "Eating Disorder Voice" | | | | Labeling these two parts helps you to understand |
| and the "Healthy Voice." Part of the treatment for an | | | | what is going on. Learning to really hear what is being |
| eating disorder is to make the Healthy Voice louder | | | | communicated can help you free yourself from the |
| (bigger) while decreasing the Eating Disorder Voice. | | | | torture. |
| The Eating Disorder Voice yells, "You are fat"; "You'll | | | | How about the Eating Disorder Voice; what is it trying |
| get fat if you eat that"; "You don't fit in with others | | | | to communicate? |
| because you are fat"; "You can't eat that, you need to | | | | To help you find out, answer these questions: What |
| lose weight"; "You don't look good in those clothes"; | | | | does being fat mean to you? If you get fat or if you |
| and on and on. What are some of the things your | | | | are fat, what does that mean about you? What might |
| Eating Disorder Voice says? | | | | happen? What if that does happen? Imagine that |
| This Voice can become quite loud and obnoxious and | | | | happening to you right now. What feelings come up? |
| drives you to diet, to obsess about food and your | | | | If you lead yourself through these questions, my guess |
| body, and to engage in eating disorder behaviors such | | | | is you will come to realize that at the core is a fear of |
| as: | | | | not being loved, accepted; a fear of being alone, |
| · Purging | | | | completely without anyone. |
| · Comparing your body to others | | | | This may stem from being told, directly or indirectly, |
| · Comparing what you eat with what others are | | | | that this was true. Imagine a mother putting her child on |
| eating | | | | a diet while telling her how important it is to be thin so |
| · Keeping clothes in your closet that don't fit with the | | | | she will have friends. To a child, this translates to "I |
| goal that one day they will again | | | | won't be accepted if I am fat." Imagine a boy/girl you |
| · Exercising too much or resisting exercise | | | | liked in school telling you that you eat a lot (even |
| · Dressing to hide your body | | | | indirectly). You decide no one will want you/love you if |
| · Negative self talk when thinking about your body or | | | | you are fat. These are just some examples I have |
| about food | | | | heard from others. What is your story? |
| · Obsessing about food, weight, exercise | | | | So, your Eating Disorder Voice develops to help you |
| · Paying more attention to your body, food, etc than | | | | out! It is trying with all its might to help you be loved, |
| your relationships with yourself or others | | | | accepted, in relationship with others. It wants you to be |
| · Chronic Dieting or thinking about dieting | | | | happy and it truly believes that being thin is the way to |
| · Talking about being fat | | | | do it. |
| · Eating too much or not enough | | | | But, it isn't. |
| · Thinking life will be better if you lose weight | | | | It only drives you further from relationships, especially |
| · Perfectionist thinking | | | | with yourself. After time, it can totally absorb you and |
| · Black and white thinking | | | | keep you focused on all that isn't important. Really |
| The "Healthy Voice" is the part of you that doesn't | | | | feeling alone, rather than just fearing it. |
| want to do the above behaviors or believe the things | | | | Learning to hear what this part of you is trying to |
| the Eating Disorder Voice says. However, this Voice is | | | | communicate will help you respond to what it really |
| usually very small. My guess is it is much more difficult | | | | wants and needs. What if you knew it was saying "I |
| to recognize. | | | | am scared no one will love me." How would you |
| I think the part of you that wants to binge is the | | | | respond? What if a child said that to you? I think that |
| Healthy Voice. I know this is hard to grasp, but think | | | | Eating Disorder Voice probably is a child voice, terrified |
| about it like this: when you binge, you are basically | | | | that she will never be loved, liked, and cared for. |
| telling that Eating Disorder Voice, "I will not let you | | | | If you only respond to the Eating Disorder Voice with |
| starve me again. I need food and if you won't let me | | | | what you hear "you'll get fat if you eat that," you won't |
| eat it in peace, I will demand it!" Thus, you binge. | | | | be giving it what it really needs. Often times, it is |
| I know it isn't communicating very clearly and it may be | | | | comfort. That part of you is scared. She just wants to |
| difficult to get this, especially as you are bringing that | | | | be loved and is afraid she won't be. |
| chocolate cake to your mouth with the intent to eat it | | | | This week, try to identify and explore the Eating |
| all and maybe more. However, whenever you can | | | | Disorder Voice and the Healthy Voice, opening up to |
| (even if hours after the binge), try to acknowledge that | | | | what they are really trying to communicate. It might be |
| this is what happened. Go further and give it kudos for | | | | easiest to do this when you are not feeling them |
| doing so; this is the healthy part of you. | | | | strongly; in other words, when you are not engaged in |
| Keep in mind that this sequence does not need to be | | | | acting out an eating disorder behavior. Write it down, |
| exclusive to those with anorexia (literal starving) but | | | | journal, do art, and/or close your eyes and breathe, |
| holds true for dieting or even thinking with diet mentality. | | | | while asking yourself these questions: If it isn't about |
| Dieting is very similar to starving, as far as your body | | | | food, what might it be about? What might have been |
| and emotions are concerned. Dieting is restriction. | | | | happening before the eating disorder behavior |
| When foods are restricted, you crave them more | | | | happened? Imagine you feel afraid you won't be loved. |
| because in essence, you are starving yourself of | | | | What does that part of you want to say? Let yourself |
| these foods. After years of dieting or even feeling bad | | | | feel any feelings that surface. Write them down or |
| about eating something "bad", your emotional response | | | | acknowledge them in some way. |
| is that of starvation. As far as the binge part of you is | | | | Working with your Eating Disorder and Healthy Voice |
| concerned, "this is the LAST time I can eat this | | | | in this way will help you to respond more appropriately, |
| because it is going to go away tomorrow. I better eat | | | | with less criticism. As well, it will help the healthy part of |
| it all up and more before that happens." It is the Last | | | | you grow, while shrinking the eating disorder part. |
| Meal before the diet. If you have been on this | | | | |