| I've decided autism came to us for a reason. Firstly, it | | | | one time, that was my son. I had no idea that a year |
| seems to run in my family, so I suppose it was my turn | | | | down the road I would get to see him running at four |
| in the roll of the cosmic dice. More importantly, autism is | | | | mph. It took thousands of baby steps to get to that |
| in my life to teach me some very powerful lessons. | | | | point. Talk about appreciating the small stuff. For the |
| Quite a few years ago, when it seemed that it was | | | | person with autism and the family, there is no small |
| here to stay, I decided to create an attitudinal shift that | | | | stuff. |
| allowed me to move toward seeing it as a gift rather | | | | "I am not a patient person." is a very popular sentiment. |
| than a hardship. Why not? Since we were spending a | | | | Autism will take care of that. The person with autism |
| lot of time together, I decided I might as well learn what | | | | processes differently, and often, at a much slower |
| I could from living with my son, who happens to have | | | | speed. They may need lots of extra practice. Things |
| autism. | | | | may need to be broken down into tiny pieces to be |
| There are so many lessons to be learned by taking a | | | | digestible and learnable. Progress will probably occur at |
| glass half full stance to living with autism. The | | | | a much slower pace than what you would want or |
| opportunities are all there if we take the time to pay | | | | expect. Your patience muscle will grow stronger or |
| attention and use them to our advantage. All children | | | | you will go crazy. Patience with the process will be up |
| are a gift. A child with autism is a gift too. Even the | | | | at the top of your list of parent milestones. |
| autism itself is a gift. It's okay to see it this way | | | | My two daughters were born after my son. They |
| because you will still be there to help your child be the | | | | seemed to develop like flowers. With a little water, |
| best he can be and grow to his fullest potential. The | | | | love, and opportunities they grew on their own. It felt |
| potential may be different than your other children or | | | | like magic compared to my son's delayed and spotty |
| others his age, but it is there. Deciding to make the | | | | development. By the time they came along, there had |
| best of things does not take away from that. It just | | | | been so many medical and developmental issues with |
| transforms you into a better person. | | | | my son, I had already learned to take nothing for |
| So you didn't get the child you expected. Now, you get | | | | granted and appreciate almost everything. |
| to decide whether you are going to rise to the | | | | Having children seems to knock a lot of the selfishness |
| occasion and dig deep into the depth of your | | | | right out of us. With autism, you give a lot and |
| character or live as a victim to the perceived injustice | | | | sometimes, do not receive much back in terms of |
| of fate. If you go no further, this in itself will change you | | | | response. And often, it is not immediate or not the |
| and your life in a big way. You will grow in ways you | | | | response you are anticipating. It might feel as if you are |
| never imagined possible. As you are trying to change | | | | filling the pot with water and the plant just isn't growing. |
| your child's neurology, he will be changing yours, just by | | | | Then all of a sudden, one day, you see a tiny sprout. |
| being who he is. | | | | And pretty soon, the plant is bigger than you ever |
| Autism will drive you further than you probably would | | | | thought it would be. Your efforts may not be |
| ever go on your own. You will work harder, seek | | | | immediate, but they will be rewarded. |
| answers, and create questions with no answers. In the | | | | "Kyle (my son) came to me to serve as one of my |
| process, your creativity muscles will grow infinitely | | | | greatest teachers in learning to live well. In his pure |
| stronger. You will learn to live and think outside the box. | | | | innocence, he came to remind me of what is truly |
| You have the potential to grow by leaps and bounds. | | | | important during my time here on earth. When I listen, |
| The child with autism often does not give us the kinds | | | | and even when I don't he is here to show me the way. |
| of rewards as defined by society's standards. The | | | | He teaches patience, compassion, creativity, |
| rewards tend to look different and take much longer | | | | acceptance, authenticity, courage, audacity, and more |
| to happen. Growth will occur in micro movements and | | | | importantly, the true meaning of love." |
| when it does, will be cause for celebration. Imagine one | | | | So what else is there? I am proud to say my glass is |
| day being too frightened to set foot on a treadmill. At | | | | half full. How about yours? |