| h1> | | | | I coulds. Instead of making lists of all the things |
| | | | we should do, why not think about all we could |
| New Year’s Resolution Lists can lead to stress | | | | do and accomplish this year? Here are some simple |
| and a feeling of failure. Shift to a mindset of choice by | | | | ways we can apply this thinking to our parenting and |
| considering the things you could do with your children | | | | the relationships we have with our children: |
| instead of the things you should do. | | | | - I could spend a few minutes of 1-1 time with my child |
| The start of a new calendar year tends to be a time | | | | each day. |
| for us to reflect on the past year, and also make plans | | | | - I could have my child help me with a chore I need to |
| for what we envision in the 12 months ahead. Some | | | | get done. |
| people make resolutions, write to-do lists, or set goals | | | | - I could plan a simple activity that our family can all do |
| for themselves. What often happens with these lists | | | | together each week. |
| and resolutions, however, is that they fall by the | | | | - I could get the playroom/bedroom/office/garage |
| wayside shortly after they’ve been written. | | | | organized. |
| One of the reasons for this is the pressure we put on | | | | - I could be more consistent with my response to the |
| ourselves to accomplish these things; and that | | | | negative/inappropriate behavior my child exhibits. |
| pressure and level of expectation leads to stress, | | | | - I could read that book/journal/blog I find interesting. |
| resentment, and ultimately giving up on what we | | | | - I could be more patient with my children. |
| originally set out to do. | | | | - I could set limits for how much time my children |
| I recently heard someone talk about changing our I | | | | spend watching television and playing video games. |
| should to I coulds. That really resonated with | | | | How about you? What are some of the I |
| me on a personal and professional level, as it seems | | | | shoulds that have been hovering over you and your |
| so easy to get caught in the trap of stressing about | | | | life? Take a few moments to write down all the |
| everything I should do. When we think of things | | | | shoulds that come to mind — just jot |
| in terms of I should, we exist in a pressured | | | | them down in whatever order you think of them. |
| state of feeling forced to do something. Thinking | | | | Your list might include household chores or projects, |
| about what I could do shifts us into a mindset of | | | | such as doing the laundry or repairing something |
| choiceI am deciding in this moment whether to do | | | | that’s broken; personal ideals such as losing |
| this thing. It not only sounds different, but it feels | | | | weight; activities with your children, etc. Once you |
| different to phrase options from the perspective of | | | | have your list, go through and read each one using the |
| I could instead of I should. There is an | | | | phrasing I could
. Notice how you respond |
| internal mindset shift that occurs when we do this; and | | | | mentally and physically to thinking about each item on |
| it allows us to move forward with trying to do the | | | | your list as a could versus a should. |
| things we could, instead of getting stuck in the mode | | | | When these things arise for you on a daily basis, focus |
| of pressuring ourselves to do what we should. | | | | on shifting into the choice mode of I could |
| Since we are at the start of a new year, we have the | | | | instead of the pressure mode of I should. |
| opportunity to think about the year ahead in terms of | | | | |