How to Handle a a Child's Tantrums Who Has Autism/Asperger

Let me start from the beginning having a child who hasmess up if I destroy it. It took my son 3 or 4 times of
this disorder is not easy. You have your fun days, yourcleaning up his own mess before he got the message
crying days, your frustrating days and your downrightthat this is no fun.
crazy days.I know we want to help them when we hear them
My son is now 10 years old he is defiant, he doesn'tcrying or saying Help I can't do this, and yes it will take
want to do any type of educational work. He is gettingthem some time and yes it may not be to your liking,
stronger and some days I don't want to fight with him. Ibut this will be the best thing for them and help them to
know I as his parent must stay strong and work withcontrol their anger.
him through this phase, but whew it is draining.Anyway, when my son was younger and we went to
When he was younger I could come up with differentthe store, he would act out anytime he didn't get what
types of games to get him to do homework, sort ofhe wanted.
make learning fun. Now he is always saying "this isYes, I would get embarrassed, I would get mad, I
baby stuff or this is so boring".would say why me, and I would even just leave the
He is a wiz on the computer with programming andstore when I couldn't get him to calm down.
installing new kinds of gadgets to make the computerEven though we would discuss before going that we
run faster and do different things. When I tell him it isare not going to the store for him, itnever fails that
time to do something educational on the computer hesomething would always catch his eye and watch out
has a fit.for the meltdown.
Oh, did I not tell you kids who has autism/asperger areWhen was the first time your child told you he hates
know for their tantrums/meltdowns, or at least mine is,you or I don't like you, thinking back he was about 6 or
he screams, yells, kicks on the floor. He use to destroy7, he wanted to do something, I don't even remember
his room flipping over his bookcase, his mattress,what it was all I do remember was WOW WOW!!!
throwing toys.and talk about hurt. I was hurt and sad tears welled up
The best I was told to get him to stop having thosein my eyes and I had to turn away and get control of
destroying tantrums is to wait until he or she is calmmyself.
and tell them that they must clean up their own mess.If you child ever does tell you that, the first time will hurt
Trust me, you will get this, Oh, I can't do it, it is to heavy,like hell. Unfortunately, it will not be the first/last time he
I need help, and of course I'm sorry, if your child isor she does this.
verbal.Get ready for the downright hurtful things they
What ever you do don't help them. They were strongsometimes say.
enough to flip the mattress on the floor, they areAutism/Asperger is a terrible disorder.
strong enough to put it back, they were mad enoughThe children cannot read verbal or emotional cues.
to knock all the books and papers on the floor, theyThey don't know when they hurt your feelings. The
have to take their time to put those items back wheremost we can do as parents is to not take it personally,
they belong.I know this is hard, but if I was to get upset every time
When they have to clean up their disaster areamy son told me he hated me I would be in the state
enough. It will slowly dawn on them in the middle of afacility for insane parents.
tantrum that. Hey, I am going to have to clean this