How to Connect With Your School Aged Children

Reword your questionsresults. Get to know what sets them off, so you can
As a parent, you need to be there for your children toknow when to step in and alleviate their fears, before
help alleviate the anxiety they are experiencing. But,the problem becomes clinical.
instead of asking straight out what they are worriedMake time for them
about, think about rewording your question. Ask themWith the number of working mothers and fathers in
what their friends are worried about.They may sharethis difficult economy, it takes extra effort to develop a
more with you if you approach it indirectly.rapport with your child so they trust you with their
Visit the school before school startsproblems. If you act interested and try to connect on a
Some kids have difficulty with new situations, and maydaily basis, without getting upset, you will be more
need more help getting adjusted than others. For thesesuccessful.
children, it may be best to visit the school before itMany times it is difficult for children to verbalize what
starts and invite a friend to go with them. At least, thenthey are feeling. You may need to approach them
they will be somewhat familiar with the facilities.when they are doing something they enjoy, rather than
Some teachers will meet with students prior to schoolwhen they are stressed, to get the best answers.
beginning and give them a little tour of their classroomParents should try to play with their children a few
so they can get an idea what to expect.minutes each day on an individual basis. Let them take
Parents can share some of their personal experiencesthe lead. Do not be judgmental or critical until you have
such as what they remember about starting school inam ample understanding of their feelings about a
a new place. Also tell them stories of the fun thingssubject. You can then navigate their child's emotions
you remember about school and making new friends.and prevent behavioral and conduct problems.
Making friendsDifficult Behavior
Some children have difficulty making new friends. ItIf your child is acting out, or has behavioral problems, it
would be good to make the teacher aware so thatcould be just the back-to-school anxiety, or it could be
they can arrange a buddy for them to do activitiessomething else. If it persists and interferes with their
together. That way they will not feel totally alone.ability to function, you can have your child evaluated by
Letting goa child psychiatrist. You can even go as a family to
Parents sometimes have as hard a time letting theirhave family counseling. The child will usually react
child go to kindergarten as their child does leavingpositively knowing they are being supported by a
them. It is up to the parent to help them feel confident.loving family.
A friend of mine was quite sad that her oldest sonIf they are having difficulty fitting in socially, or having no
was going to go to kindergarten. He became worriedacademic success in their class, you need to catch it
about his mother and told her "don't worry Mommy, Iearly, and try to help them before it affects their desire
will come back from school, and we can spend timeto go to school.
together and I will help you." Put on a brave face andEstablish a routine
give them a big smile telling them how proud you areIf the child knows what is expected of them, they will
of them.most likely try to follow your schedule. Making sure
Transitionsthey have a study time, meal time, chore time, play
One of the biggest transitions seems to be whentime and bed time will help them get in a good routine.
children advance to middle school. They go from beingIf the child knows where all of their things belong
in only one classroom for the bulk of the day, to goingincluding their backpack, clothes, shoes, books and
to several classes with many different teachers.supplies, they will not be stressed unnecessarily. You
Then again, when students start into high school, withcan get things prepared before they go to sleep the
their hormones increasing, their insecurities seem tonight before so they will be in a good mood when they
resurface. At this age, their biggest issue seems to beleave your home.
trying to figure out their own identity. They try to findYou may need to limit television, computers and video
which group they fit in with.game use to help your child do better in school as well
Their peers become more important. Family should stillas finding time to be with friends more.
be important, and it will be if the child is given the loveSome children need extra help getting ready for
and security from the parents they need, without beingschool, so it will not help if you are anxious yourself, but
overbearing. They may have more relationshipspeak in a calm controlled way, and be as supportive
problems with friends and family members.as possible.
Adolescence is usually the time that anxiety disordersConclusion
are made manifest, some of which may needA child will be more likely to succeed if they are
intervention with a specialist.supported in their efforts by their parents. Even with all
Individual Needsthe demands on your time, you need to take time to
Be aware of the child's unique personality. You cannotconnect with your school-aged children.
treat all of your children the same and get the same