| When he was young, our autistic son, Scott, had a | | | | to the next level. Surely that would work! Now the |
| significant behavioral problem: he was obsessed with | | | | screaming began. The confrontation had begun in |
| only using one door of our house. Our home had two | | | | earnest. |
| front doors, and he adamantly refused to use any | | | | I reached for my earplugs and curiously watched to |
| other door but the one he preferred. I am sure many | | | | see what he would do next. I did not have long to wait. |
| of you parents what I am talking about. The "things" | | | | He ran for the other door, and I followed him. |
| can extend to foods, only wearing a certain kind of | | | | Thankfully, I was prepared with some good running |
| clothing, watching only one DVD, hearing one song......the | | | | shoes, anticipating that I was going to get some |
| list goes on and on, until you crave a retreat to a hotel, | | | | exercise. Back and forth we went, from one door to |
| ALONE, to retreat. You get the picture. | | | | the other. Each time he tried to go out, I picked him up |
| One day I decided I had had enough. Not only was this | | | | and took him to the other door. All the while, I |
| driving me nuts; it was a dangerous situation for our | | | | responded to his screaming with soft tones, telling him |
| then 3-year-old son. If there was a fire in the house, | | | | that he needed to try the other door. This first battle |
| and he refused to leave from any entrance other than | | | | tactic lasted for 45 minutes. |
| the one he preferred, he would perish. Change was | | | | Finally, he decided that was not going to work, so |
| necessary! | | | | SURELY throwing himself on the floor while |
| I knew from long experience with his screaming | | | | simultaneously trying to burst my eardrums would be |
| tantrums to steal myself for a confrontation, so I | | | | effective. He tried that, while occasionally halting the |
| prepared for the battle. I set aside three 2-hour block | | | | screaming to see if I would notice that he was in |
| afternoons, bought a pair of earplugs, and went to talk | | | | extreme distress. Then he became very creative. He |
| to the neighbors. | | | | rolled himself all the way to the top of the basement |
| They were informed that a battle was about to ensue, | | | | stairs, right next to the despised door, and stopped just |
| and the enemy was not going to go down without a | | | | short of rolling down. Then he looked at me to make |
| fight. Everyone within a 2-house radius was told that | | | | sure I knew he could seriously injure himself if I did not |
| they should not be concerned. Although his lung power | | | | do something! I calmly picked him up without saying a |
| was great and his willpower even greater, he had | | | | word and put him down again. |
| found a stubborn equal in his mother. He was going to | | | | After 2 1/2 hours, with sweat pouring down his face |
| look for a fight, and who was I to disappoint him?? | | | | and exhaustion in his scream, he finally let me take him |
| The next day the battle began. He went for his | | | | out the front door. I had won! He let me hold him, and |
| favorite door, and I gently picked him up and moved | | | | we both collapsed on the couch. |
| him to the hated alternative. The first reaction was | | | | Note: This battle occurred for three more days. The |
| panic. If I had not known any better, I would have | | | | next day lasted one hour, the second 45 minutes, third |
| assumed that he thought I was throwing him into the | | | | fifteen, and finally, on the last day, he went right out the |
| deep end of a pool when he did not know how to | | | | formerly hated door. I had won for good! His prize? A |
| swim. The panic almost instantly changed to | | | | nice walk to the park, out the new door, of course! |
| dismay....How COULD you, Mom? I thought you loved | | | | The moral to this story: If you stand your ground, you |
| me! When that did not change my mind, he escalated it | | | | can help change the behavior of a child with autism. |