| I was talking to a dear friend of mine on the telephone, | | | | need to please people, so that you are accepted and |
| who has a child with autism. She was telling me, how | | | | fear you will be rejected, now that your child is autistic. |
| she feels rejected, not part of her family, relatives, and | | | | It is imperative for you to know, you and your child |
| friends, because of her son with autism. Do you ever | | | | have many talents, gifts, and do not need to express |
| feel this way, or have felt this way? I do understand | | | | the feelings of rejection. |
| those feelings, and I can identify with them. I have | | | | I have been in your situation. I have tried hard to prove |
| experienced that many parent(s), caregiver(s), are | | | | myself in the area of being accepted, so I would fit in, |
| feeling rejected because their child has the disorder of | | | | and not feel rejected because of the disorder my |
| autism. | | | | brother had. |
| Many of us have grown up on a "turn table" trying to | | | | I came to the conclusion, and I hope you do also, that |
| please most of the people we know, so they will not | | | | you as parent(s), caregiver(s), are not rejected |
| reject us. We want to be perfect or desire to be | | | | because of a child with autism. You may feel that |
| perfect in the eyes of others. You now have a child | | | | way, but the truth is, the people who are rejecting you, |
| with the disorder of autism, and you are discovering | | | | are in reality rejecting themselves. |
| you feel out of the "normal" crowd. You are rejected | | | | Grow and learn from your child, become more |
| from the people that you wanted to be accepted with. | | | | educated with new research that is being done for |
| You are probably thinking and feeling that the only way | | | | autism, make new adjustments, changes and |
| to be accepted from being rejected, is through your | | | | challenges. In addition, by doing this, it will give you new |
| performance. Which means, your child now has autism, | | | | hope, and will help you break those feelings of being |
| and if you do what others in your group want you to | | | | rejected. |
| do, you will be accepted. Since your child is autistic, | | | | We all have an inbred need to be loved. But, we do |
| your thoughts are, they will probably reject you. Having | | | | not need to perform so we are not rejected. You, and |
| a child with autism does not make you as parent(s), | | | | your autistic child, will experience that blows of life |
| caregiver(s), "abnormal", or should it make you feel | | | | knock you down, but the important thing to remember |
| rejected. | | | | is not to stay down. You will develop the quality of |
| I have had many discussions with my friend, | | | | rebounding from rejection as you become stronger in |
| concerning her feelings of being rejected because she | | | | knowing, that you will soon develop confident strong |
| has a child with the disorder of autism. We have | | | | feelings of being accepted. |
| discussed and agreed, that you do not have to be | | | | Learn and grow by gaining knowledge about autism. |
| perfect whether you have a child with autism, or child | | | | Keep updated on the new research that is being done, |
| who does not have autism. | | | | and make good choices of who your friends are, and |
| Yes, there are people who will not accept you and will | | | | the people you want to spend time with. Many |
| reject you because your child is autistic, and you do | | | | individuals do not understand autism, nor do they want |
| not perform perfectly to please them, or are up to their | | | | to know about it. Therefore, if people in your circle, are |
| standards. In reality, what does it matter if other | | | | rejecting you because of your child with the disorder, |
| individuals will reject you, because of your child with the | | | | choose new friends that understand, and they will give |
| disorder of autism? | | | | you the support you need. |
| You as parent(s), caregiver(s), do not have to feel you | | | | |