Autistic Children Wished You Knew - The Difference Between Can't and Won't

When children don't listen to us, or do the things wedistorted. To most it is simply a matter of learning the
ask, we often assume that they are not doing itfeeling of a full bladder. Yet when you add in distorted
because they won't. They don't want to. With specialsenses or sensory issues, they may not interpret the
needs children, such as those on the autism spectrum,feeling the same way and as a result may still wet
this is not always the case. In fact, it is often not thethemselves. This is not something they want to do. Of
case at all. It is not a matter of them not wanting to docourse, we all want to be dry and comfortable, and
it, but actually an inability for them to do it. Even thoughthose with sensory issues may actually want it more
they want to or try to, they simply cannot do it. It canso than us, it is a matter of them not being able to do
be something that seems so simple to us, or so simpleit, because of the issues they experience.
for other children, but for an autistic child, it may seemAll children need special attention and care, and all
like you are asking them to fly to the moon.children will learn things in their own way and time. It is
Always take into consideration the abilities of the child,important to remember with any and all children that
whether of special needs or not. Some children have athere will be some things they simply cannot do. It is
natural ability for some things, well other children,not a matter of won't, it is a matter of can't, and it is
cannot do it no matter what. They can try with all theirour responsibility as parents to understand the
might, but it is just not going to happen. Simple thingsdifference and not penalize our children for things they
like potty training may be outside the realm of ability forcan't do and to appreciate and celebrate in all the
an autistic child. They may try and they may reallythings they can do.
want to, but they cannot because their senses are