Autism vs Sibling Rivalry

There's always tension between siblings, but when oneexample, perhaps your family cannot travel to the
child has a mental or physical developmental disorder,beach because your autistic child can't handle the
this sibling rivalry can become even more pronounced.stress of the sand, water, and crowds. Instead, plan a
As a parent, dealing with disorders can be stressfulfamily trip to a less-crowded lake destination or, if you
enough without worrying about having to balance yourlive close enough, plan a day trip to the beach while
time between two or more children. A number ofyour autistic child visits with grandma or does another
things can be done to improve relationships betweenactivity.
brothers and sisters when one or more child suffersRemember that your non-autistic children need
from autism, but remember that children of all ages willattention at other points in the day, not just every once
quarrel, so time apart is important too.in awhile for special events. Schedule some time every
First and foremost, it is important to educate yourday to provide these children with your undivided
children about autism. Starting from a young age, yourattention. Think of this kind of sibling rivalry as similar to
children who are not diagnosed with the diseasethe rivalry that occurs when a new child is born.
should learn that their brother or sister has a differentAlthough the new baby needs your attention the most,
understanding of the world. This is especially importantyou cannot ignore your other children. The same is
because when you and your spouse pass away, yourtrue when you have an autistic child.
other children will most likely have power-of-attorneyLastly, take advantage of programs and organizations
over their autistic siblings, even if they do not haveaimed at helping families through difficult situations.
direct responsibility for them on a day to day basis. ItMany groups are formed specifically for siblings of
may be beneficial to explain this to them as theyautistic children to help them cope with the stress that
mature, but even as a child, the sense of responsibilitythis causes in their lives. If your child does not enjoy
for a sibling who needs help can create morethese groups, do not force him or her to go, but usually
understanding. Get you child involved with taking carethese meetings are fun and inspiring.
of your autistic child by learning fun educational gamesConsider joining a family counselling group. This not only
to play together or helping with everyday tasks suchhelps parents deal with the stress of raising an autistic
as dressing and eating.child, but also helps children, both autistic and
However, remember that your non-autistic child needsnon-autistic, learn to interact peacefully with one
plenty of care and attention as well. Plan family outinganother. When there is a level of understanding
which all of your children can enjoy, but also treat yourbetween children and between a child and his or her
non-autistic children to other events as well. They mayparents, the family can work together to help their
feel resentful because they cannot do all of the thingsautistic member, as well as help one another be
with their family that a typical child and his or her familysuccessful in life.
can do, so try to counteract this with other events. For