Autism: Confusion Amongst Relatives

My husband and I have two children that are affectedhas been searching on the internet as well as
by the Autism Spectrum Disorder. We both suspectedbrochures and documentaries.
that something was wrong with our oldest child aroundEach time that we talk, she asks more questions and
the age of one year old. My husband started togradually shares this newly found information with my
suspect Autism and did some extensive researchbrother, my parents and other relatives and friends.
about this PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder). IThere is nothing like living with Autism to understand it
refused to label him until the time he was diagnosedbetter!
with ASD at the tender age of three. A year later, hisAfter not seeing her grandchildren for a period of five
little sister was also diagnosed with Autism at the ageyears for our son and three for our daughter, my
of two years old.mother finally decided to leave her beloved Eastern
Telling our relativesprovince where French is the main language for our
My husband had only one close relative, his olderEnglish speaking Western province. She came to get
brother, about our children's Autism. Being a teachertwo know her grandchildren.
who previously taught children on the Spectrum, heThe second day of her visit was New Year's Day and
understood and did not judge them. He is patient withalso the time when I learned that until recently, she did
them and accepts them easily.not want to come because of her denial of the
The problems started to arise on my side of thediagnosis of Autism and also the fact that she was
family. As I told them, I faced a variety of reactionsscared to see how badly they would be affected by it.
which hurt more despite their efforts not to cause usShe also confided that she learned more about Autism
more grief. We ended up confronting: denial, refusal ofSpectrum Disorder in two days than knew about it,
the diagnosis, derogatory comments, being blamed,being a nurse for the past nineteen years. Her
denying possible genetic history and so much more butexcitement and relief are both genuine. She has been
the worst ones were pity and uncomfortable silence.observing and understanding their reactions, their
Now, our children have been diagnosed for two yearssensitivities and their behaviors very quickly.
and my relatives still feel and react the same way.While I confided in her that I was scared that she
Is information the solution?would misjudge them and not care as them as much
For the last two years, I have tried to explain and giveto avoid a heartbreak, she understood not only my
examples to explain to them what Autism really is, itsfears but also how her comments and the ones made
symptoms, the behaviors and other type of usefulby other relatives were sometimes hurtful through the
information to end up with comments such as: "Is youryears.
son like a little rain man?" Or: "This is not from our sideSeeing Autism and living with it make the difference!
of the family!" Another comment would be: "I knewNow, not only is my mother planning her next trip with
you were too old to have children!"us, but she is taking pictures and mentally and
Then one day, as I was chatting on MSN Messengeremotionally recording and enjoying every moment
with my sister while using a video camera, she sawspent with them. She has discovered that although
my son flapping his hands as he was getting excitedASD can be frightening when unknown, children with
about something that caught his attention. The firstthe Autism Spectrum Disorder need love, affection
thing I knew, she was not only asking questions butand that you can enjoy their company when you
also really interested in finding out everything aboutunderstand what Autism is and how to approach it
Autism as it touched her so deeply. Since then, shesuccessfully.