A Personal Perspective on Autistic Children and Marriage Problems

We have all seen the statistics showing the number ofmake sure that the evening needs of your child are
marriages that collapse and end in divorce. When youmet. In fact, with a little imagination and creativity, this
add in the additional stress of raising a child with autismcan be a very wonderful time to spend together as a
the divorce figures are staggering. Truly, you can becouple and a family! Working together on behalf of
the most loving and understanding of people but youyour child -- perhaps during a Floor time therapy
will still have trouble dealing with this level of stress. Butsession -- can bring a married couple together and will
there are indeed strategies that can help - having areap amazing benefits for your child.
positive outlook on life in general and working togetherThe first piece of advice I give families that I work with
with your spouse to keep the marriage healthy areas an advocate and educational consultant is to get
just 2 strategies that can foster a successful marriage.involved with parent support groups. And not simply
My marriage did not survive and I have witnessedover the internet! Though there are many wonderful
other fall apart too. And rarely was it because thesupport groups on the web. But nothing can compete
people involved were horrible, or uncaring. But theywith the actual face to face support that you get at
simply were overwhelmed by the stresses imposedregular support meetings. And, if there are none in your
by raising a child with autism. All married couples facearea then start one! I did!! And many of those people
stressful situations and this leads to short tempers andare my friends to this day.
misunderstandings. Parents of autistic children areFinally, don't hesitate to get professional help. But be
often tired and frazzled with the extra parental dutiesvery careful about the person you choose. There are
and the lack of time together alone. Here is just onemany therapists out there but very few that know
piece of advice, and it is not only for families of specialabout raising a child with a disability and the stress it
needs kids, but to everyone who is married. Take timebrings a married couple. The best place to get
to enjoy each other, alone, away from the kids, therecommendations is from the support group you join.
way you did at the beginning of the relationship. Find aRemember, autism doesn't just affect your child -- it
way to go out at least one evening a week, and don'taffects the entire family. If there are siblings then seek
talk about the kids! This will be great not only for youout sibling support groups. Believe me, all your children
but also for your child with autism. Remember, he orcan suffer and they each need the inner strength and
she has to learn to respond to people other than thestrength of their family to not only survive but to thrive.
parents! And you definitely need the time to beYou are not alone. don't lock yourself away. Instead,
together.reach out. Yes, the stress of raising a child on the
Everyone is tired at the end of the work day butautism spectrum can be overwhelming but it does not
when you finally get home, remember that your workhave to mean a death sentence on your marriage or
is not done! Both parents have to work together toyour family.